Roots | personal

October? Really? This summer went by CRAZY fast! It was a good summer, filled with friends and celebrations and laughter. But for me it was also a summer of struggle. A summer of frustrated waiting. Of wondering what comes next and trying to find the truth of what comes NOW.

There were days when I asked the question that has haunted humanity since Eve bit the fruit, "Will life ever stop hurting?"
And the answer, of course, is "No, life never stops hurting. But God never stops being enough."
It was on one of those question days that these words came out of my pen into my journal:

For so long I've felt like I haven't been growing. Because I'm not visibly growing up from the surface.
All I can manage to do is cling.
Cling to the word.
Fight to believe the promise.
And then I realized. I'm growing my roots. Well, God is.
The upward growth happens when faith comes naturally. When you see God work and you simply MUST lift branches to Him in praise.
But what happens when faith is hard?
What happens when you have to fight to hear (let alone believe) one word of truth?
When the promise grows sweaty and worn in your hands from holding it so tight, from trying to press it's reality into your veins, because right now it doesn't seem so real?
Do you think it's easy for roots to push down into soil tight and strong?
It's a fight. Slow. Painful.
Not like the wild and joyous waving of branches up in the free air.
Roots cling hard in the dark.
There's no path paved out, there. No other, easier way to go. Only push. Fight. Cling. Deeper. Stronger. Harder.
There is a reality you can't see called Hope.
I know you don't believe, but believe.
I know your heart is raw and you feel so achingly alone.
I know you don't see Me here, but I AM.
I AM the spring your roots will find when they have pushed through the darkness and dryness.
I will spring up for you just like I said I would in the promise you hold in your hand.
You will go from strength to strength, feeding on my hidden life.
And you WILL be mine.

"But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out it's roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; it's leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." - Jeremiah 17:7-8